Celine is a French blogger who writes some fictional reviews about the books she loves the most and they always make me laugh. I hope the humor even if translated is kept. Thanks for her reviews.
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The Mortal Instruments, Book 2
Synopsis: Clary Fray just wishes that her life would go back to normal. But what’s normal when you’re a demon-slaying Shadowhunter, your mother is in a magically induced coma, and you can suddenly see Downworlders like werewolves, vampires, and faeries? If Clary left the world of the Shadowhunters behind, it would mean more time with her best friend, Simon, who’s becoming more than a friend. But the Shadowhunting world isn’t ready to let her go — especially her handsome, infuriating, newfound brother, Jace. And Clary’s only chance to help her mother is to track down rogue Shadowhunter Valentine, who is probably insane, certainly evil — and also her father.
To complicate matters, someone in New York City is murdering Downworlder children. Is Valentine behind the killings — and if he is, what is he trying to do? When the second of the Mortal Instruments, the Soul-Sword, is stolen, the terrifying Inquisitor arrives to investigate and zooms right in on Jace. How can Clary stop Valentine if Jace is willing to betray everything he believes in to help their father?
Disclaimer: “The characters and situations in this story are fictional, any resemblance to existing persons and situations can only be coincidental”
For mémo: Episode 1 ; Episode 2 ; Episode 3 ; Episode 4 ; Episode 5 ; Episode 6 ; Episode 7 ; Episode 8 ; Episode 9
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♪♫ « Comme les Rois mages, En Galilée suivaient des yeux l’étoile du berger… » ♪♫
– Stop singing, Melliane growls putting her head so much in her striped scarf that only her eyes seem to be able to cope with the cold surrounding us…
Temperatures have dropped tonight. Winter has settled. A thin layer of gel begins to cover the plastic trash that keeps us company. For discretion, we have chosen as a meeting place, a bus shelter in a deserted area. On the discretion level, the idea was good. On the comfort level… That’s another story … I wish I had brought a cushion. And my plaid patch. To keep me warm.
– But why?
I throw an innocent look.
– You really want to know why? le Chat du Cheshire wonders, rubbing her hands against each other.
– Uhh … But my dog loves when I sing!
– We wonder why … That’s why I like cats, they have a good taste, le Chat retorts.
– I’d like to avoid the storm we had at Christmas, remember? Melliane insists.
I hum a little bit, I have the soul of an artist tonight.
♪♫ « Comme les Rois mages, En Galilée suivaient des yeux l’étoile du berger, ta ta ta ta.. ».♪♫
– And besides, she does not know the lyrics, Roanne grumbles rolling her eyes, and by increasing the weight of her body from one foot to the other. Around her neck is wrapped a scarf coordinated with her purse. Homemade. She has magic fingers, Roanne.
– But it’s just to get you in the mood! Girls! We will talk to the Magi! There it is, the solution to all our problems!
Long silence. My enthusiasm is not communicative.
– What do you want me to tell you, I am not persuaded, but not convinced at all, Roanne finally confesses.
– Oh oh, I remind you that I’m the brains of the group! I always have great ideas!
– The brain is gone in Lapland without snowshoes to walk in the snow and to face Santa, Melliane gently laughs at me.
– They could not fit into my suitcase.
I dip the nose into the collar of my coat. I should have taken a scarf. And gloves. I’m really dizzy sometimes, I think that I left them on the coffee table or in the dog’s basket. I do not really remember.
It is true that our expedition to Lapland was something. We fell nose to nose with reindeer who pursued us, all teeth out. Melliane was faster than the wind with her long strides and snowshoes. My style was more … summary …. I really enjoyed the snow. It was cold. I even thought that I would lose my nose. And my ski pants were not thick enough to protect me from the fangs of these charming animals. No, not a success.
– Well, girls. I’ll say that this might be a track. It’s almost January 6th, the Three Kings arrive. We need to intercept them! They could perhaps take Volume 2 of The Mortal Instruments to hide it… Because this volume 2, it is still pretty darn good! The pace doesn’t slow up, quite the contrary. The characters are well developed, the dialogues are great, there is a lot of humor. And the universe is rich, well thought … I’m a fan .. and it’s your fault, I says launching a murderous look at Roanne and Le Chat.
– For once, it has nothing to do with me! I am as innocent as a lamb that is born! Melliane says by raising both hands in front of her.
– You want to talk about that famous box of books?
A bright smile appears on her face, and Le Chat and Roanne do not seem at all sorry. I understand them. The Mortal Instruments is addictive. The pages scroll, scroll, scroll … and bam … We are at the last page. And the last pages … Oh … (sighs)
– Well, what do we do? Roanne, you find information about the Magi’s route? And we choose an appointment to develop the strategy? Chat, you mentioned the possibility to mount a cats experts commando in Krav Maga, how is it going?
– I’m working, but a leader is missing.
– I have one!
My fingers barely meet, but I manage to root my phone from the back pocket of my jeans to show them a picture.
– Our secret weapon. Nini. Teeth and sharp claws. Unsheathed her pawns faster than her shadow and practicing martial arts, I explain.
– But she is tiny! Cat adds.
– 3 kilos of nerves … Our secret weapon, I say. I nearly lost an eye every time I give her her meds …
A perplexed wind dances around us, but it does not matter. I trust Nini …
– At least the Magi do not have reindeer, Melliane says, optimism transpiring in her voice.
– No, but they have camels! Roanne adds.
Ah yes, seen like that … But we have our secret weapon. Things are heating up!
NB: I really miss losing an eye daily when I give her medication to Nini. And for those who doubt the power of the Ninja Cats:
blodeuedd
*looks at ninja cats*
Ramona
If Nini is anything like these cats in the video, the camels should be afraid. They should be VERY afraid! I haven’t seen anything like it in my life – it’s like they’re possessed or something, lol. Awesome post, ladies 🙂
Braine Talk Supe
Another funny story/review!
I remember when I first read the novels, I felt so icky about the heroes. Like they’re maybe siblings but they have the hots for each other? NO! I ended up loving the side characters more.
Sarah @ One Curvy Blogger
I confess I never picked up book 2 because book 1 bored me to tears but Celine’s reviews are always so amusing.. 😀
Heidi
Aww Nini is so adorable and bad ass. Thanks for another fun review, Celine.
anna (herding cats & burning soup)
I *still* have book one waiting on my shelf. Ahhh and *flails*
Melissa (Books and Things)
LOL! This puts a whole spin on the book! You know I’ll have to read it with ninja cats in my head now.
Melissa (My World...in words and pages)
lol. That was good. And loved the video of ninja cats. 😀 I enjoyed the first 3 books of this series. I do need to get back to it though. 🙂
kimbacaffeinate
I’ve only read book one, but my oldest loved them all. “I am as innocent as a lamb that is born!” Really?
LilyElement
Ninja cats!!! And oooh I keep meaning to read this series, one day I will.
Lupdilup
Another unique review 🙂 I love this book too,! I loved the whole series. It’s been such a long time, that I might consider doing a re-listen soon 🙂 This are great audiobooks!
Well said!
Carole Rae
😀 NINJA CAT!